I just read a blog about love by a person who has never experienced it and I grew incredibly annoyed at the naive statements being made by the author about the topic. Words such as “simple” and “magical” were thrown around in such a careless manner that I found myself almost personally insulted at the superficial characteristics being given to the loaded word. Then I took a step back and asked myself who is really the best person to describe love? This author, who has never experienced it or even been in a serious relationship, or me, someone who has loved and lost twice. The way that she describes love greatly reminds me of some of my own expectations of it. Once you found love you were safe, secure, complete. You would walk around singing, picking wild flowers and and befriending tiny mine workers. Thinking of love as a cure all for any troubles that the relationship was having. You expect it to be just like the fairy tales. In some ways it is. Unfortunately the fairy tales don’t prepare you for all of the other sides of love. You are taken aback when the point of love is not reached simultaneously. There is confusion when simply being in love doesn’t actually perfect your partner or take away the disagreements. And worst of all, fairy tales certainly don’t prepare you for the possibility of love ending. It is inconceivable that such a strong emotion can run out of time, like a clock striking midnight. Love can never be defined by one person or group or story. It is experienced by everyone in a unique way. Some find the beauty in love, believing that they have found their soul mate in their partner. Others experience the beast, loving those who abuse them mentally, physically, or emotionally. How is such a range possible? How can one word categorize a myriad of different types of relationships? Believing in the simplest form of romantic love, the fairy tale version, enabled me to dive like Ariel (before the infamous Voice/Leg Exchange of 1987) into the word that quickly defined my first serious relationship. It didn’t last or end well, but none of that can take away from the power that speaking, hearing, and feeling love for the first time had over me. It was a wonderful feeling, a true natural high, a magic carpet ride, and has left me seeking it out ever since. So who has the right idea? The naive writer who will go in with “Once upon a time…” expectations or the girl who believe less and less in loves powers? Perhaps it’s a combination. A real-life fairy tale, like the ending to Pretty Woman. “Simple” and ”magical” mixed with Chinese take-out on Valentines day and weekend getaways for sleeping in and brewery tours. Now that is something I could work with.
Fairy tales
